Over the last week, there have been a lot of retrospectives on the ten years since 9/11. I know for all of us, that date has forever changed. It is now synonymous with the tragedy that happened. Even ten years later, it is hard for me to think about what happened. I watched a video timeline this morning, and I couldn’t help but cry at the end. All of those people who died. Their families. The sadness. The grief. It is all still so real to me. For me, though, 9/11 is not the only anniversary that I think about this time of year.
The events of 9/11 have given my heart a timeline that affects me now. This year, God is starting to teach me through it. There are three dates: 9/10, 9/11, and 9/12. Each one has specific feelings for me. And today being 9/10, I would like to reflect briefly on that day.
Looking back, 9/10 now represents innocence to me. My life changed so much on the day after the 10th, there is now a “simpler time” nostagia about it. I don’t remember the 10th. I don’t know what that day was like. However, in my mind, it looks a lot like the sunny morning of the 11th that we see when we see footage right before the first plane crash.
On 9/10, I was not as paranoid. I was a little paranoid because that is my personality, but it was not a global paranoia. I wasn’t worried about how our government handled security. I was not apprehensive about people and other countries’ thoughts about America. I was not waiting for the next “shoe to drop.” It is a sunny day in my mind, with no clouds in sight.
I was not as willing to give up some of my freedom for security. I was more trusting. I was less into watching the news. I feel like I think older generations are when they talk about the “good old days.” The world just didn’t seem as grim. The weight of the world is more on my shoulders now because I have an ingrained worry about what could happen.
I don’t know how to explain it better. 9/10 is just a time of deep reflection for me. I felt safe that day. Safe because I felt like our country was invincible. Bad things happened elsewhere. Not here. Not in America.
This year, God is making me think about him in this time of reflection. Where is my security? What do I trust in? What do I hope in?
I am not going to get into the whole why-would-God-let-this-happen thing. But, God is in control. No matter what happens, God is who we can trust in. Bad things will happen. Big things (like 9/11) or small things (losing my keys). The key is, where is my hope and trust when these things happen?
The weight of the world is not ours to carry. It isn’t. God is the sustainer of the world. My hope is only in Jesus. Jesus died for my sins to make me right with God. The proof is in the resurrection. Jesus coming back from the dead is what tells me that his sacrafice was accepted and complete (see Action Hero Jesus). I am right with God, no matter what happens. This is what frees me up to not bear the weight of planet Earth. What does this mean? It means I am free to love. I am free to serve others. I am free to let go of my daily schedule to connect with others. I am free to be Jesus’ hands and feet in the world, especialy during a time of tragedy.
Though I might not be secure in this world, I am secure in the next. I can rest in that. I can have a 9/10 spiritual life. And this 9/10 relationship to God allows me to love people through tragedies that happen every day in a 9/11 world.
I don’t know if this made sense or not. Just trying to articulate how I have been feeling this week, especially today. What do you think? How do you feel when you think about 9/10? Do you have a sense of spiritual security that lets you love and serve other people without the weight of the world on your shoulders?
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