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Number Two…Part Two

Now that ID (my second child) has been with us for almost two weeks, I thought I would write a follow-up to my post Number Two.  I have had a lot of time to think and reflect on the experience of going from the father of one to the father of two, albeit the thoughts are from a slightly sleep deprived mind.  Even though I now am in the process of potty training a toddler along with changing a bazillion newborn diapers, this is still not about that number two.  🙂

Here are a few of the things that I am learning:

  • Patience is hard at three in the morning.  I am trying hard not to get fustrated with LA and/or the baby when the ID is fussy and can’t be consoled, but it is hard.  I am being reminded time and time again that I do not have heavenly patience on my own.  It only comes from the Spirit.  I wish I could say I am doing really good at seeking the Spirit early in the AM, but I am not.  I just know what I need to work on.
  • Love can be equal and different.  I love both of my sons so much.  I love hanging out and playing with NB.  I love holding and cuddling with ID.  They are in two different phases of life, and the fathering skills are different for both.  Patience can be harder with the preschooler, especially when he is having trouble adjusting to not being the only one, but that goes back to my first point.  I do love them equally, and I love them differently.  They are different.  I will just stay in prayer that as they grow I will remember that and not compare them to each other.  I just want to love them for who they are individually.
  • I am still a selfish sinner in need of a Savior.  With to kids needing my love and attention, it is becoming even more apparent how selfish I am.  I am so prideful.  I want my time notched out for me as well as them.  I know rest time is important, but I use it as an excuse.  Even now, NB is watching TV when I probably should be playing with him.  I will play with him as soon as I am done, but it is an example of the problem.  I want to use tiredness and the need for a mental break as an excuse to worship at the throne of me.  I need to trust God to give me the energy, strength, and mental ability to do all I need to do for my sons and wife.  I need to admit to God that I am a selfish, prideful man.  I need to preach the Gospel to myself and remind myself that I am nothing without Jesus, and I can’t be the father and husband I need to be without Jesus and the Spirit.  I need the Gospel to be ever present.
  • I need the Bible more than ever.  In the last week and a half, I have found excuse after excuse not to read the Bible.  A week and a half is a long time to go without reading the Bible for me now.  I felt it.  I knew I needed to get back into it.  I finally did yesterday, and it was so refreshing.  I need to recommit to reading it everyday, meditating, and spending quality time with God.
  • God will provide.  I won’t go into all of the details, but God has seen our needs before we have known them and has provided.  It has been amazing.  God does not always meet our needs in the way we think they need to be met, and sometimes he does.  The thing we need to learn is that we can trust him.

Okay, there are a lot more things that I am forgetting, but maybe I can get to those later.  I just knew I needed to write a little.  It is something that burns in my heart until I do.  I need to go play with my son.  Hopefully you can glean something from what God is teaching me.

Has God taught you anything really cool, life-changing, or obvious but needed lately?

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I Triple Dog Dare You…

Okay, so recently I have been feeling my over-dependence on slothfulness…and my biggest enabler of being a three-toed tree climber is the good ol’ television.  It has become way too much of the highlight of my day to go vegetable on the couch in front of TV’s “warm glowing warming glow” (a quote from Homer Simpson himself).  But it is more than just the laziness invlovled, it is a bit deeper.

It is escapism.  I am trying to lose myself in TV.  Not that there is anything inherently wrong with getting wrapped up in a show or movie, it is just that it can be what “gets you through the day.”  Anything that you need to “get through” something that is not related to God is probably not a good thing.  So escapism is a problem for me.  I admit it.  But as I dig through my growing TV addiction conviction, it seems there are even more issues involved.

I am allowing what I watch to invade my mind.  Not that I am watching anything bad, but I find that my mind is grabbing on to quotes from shows, funny scenes, or just anything from TV (including commercials).  These play through my mind all day.  When a situation comes up, I jump to something I watched recently.  I am spurred on by the created show/movie/commercial…not the Creator of all of everything.  Shouldn’t the Spirit be speaking to me and not Michael Scott?  I am drowning out the movement of the power and wisdom of God in my life with the blaring sounds of the world.  This can’t be a good thing.  It can’t.

I know this is probably linked to something deeper.  Okay, not probably.  The heart is that I am worshipping at the chruch of Joe.  Pride and self-idolatry is the real issue.  I have been reading a lot in the Old Testament about how the Israelites kept turning away from God to idols…even in the desert with the thunder and lightening of God dancing with Moses on the mountain top just down the road where they can see.  How more likely am I to turn to idols?  All throughout the prophets, God is begging Israel to turn away from these, smash them up, and trust him.  I do believe he is wanting me to do the same.  This weekend the Spirit started showing me some of my idols…it is weird but they all seem to have my face.  I do love ME too much.

So how do I start smashing idols?  Discipline and listening to the move of the Spirit in my heart.  This is what led me to the conversation with LA after church that has resulted in our Unplugged Challenge.  We are unplugging from our TV.  We are going to do this for a week.  We will move from there once the week is over and see if it needs to be longer.  No using TV as a way to drown out God.  We are going to seek him and each other this week.  I am looking forward to it.  So far, so good.  (Sidenote…we don’t have cable or anything, so unplugging for us includes Netflix and Hulu online.)

Here is the thing.  Paul said in Philippians 4:8- 9 (NLT), “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”  Basically, what ever is worthy of God is what we should dwell on.  We so often don’t.  We think about things that are fun, entertaining, or interesting.  We don’t think of the things of God as much because sometimes that can be hard and challenging.  Sometimes it means breaking down our pride.  Smashing our Me Idols.   Who likes to do that?

I would like to give you the challenge to pick something you need to unplug from.  I triple dog dare you to take the Unplugged Challenge.  What do you need to give up for a week so you can hear the gentle voice of the Spirit leading you closer to him?  What “Me Idols” do you need to smash or at least get a good look at and allow God to help you smash?  Will you take the challenge for a week and give something up?

What is your “something in the way” that you can give up for a week?  What is it that you are using, consiously or unconsiously, to run away from God in your life in small or big ways?  Do you think you can take the challenge for a week?

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Can I Get There From Here?

I am a bit under the weather today, but I am going to try to put some coherent thoughts together anyway.  I am sorry if this one doesn’t make any sense!  I am giving this a shot anyway.

I have been reading through a book by Francis Chan called Forgotten God.  It is his take on the biblical realities of the person of the Holy Spirit.  A friend has highly recommended this book, and so far I see why.  It is quite challenging.  The Holy Spirit really is a “forgotten” part of the trinity for a lot of Christians, including myself.  I have not grown up learning about Him.  I don’t quite know what to do with Him in my life.  I am very thankful for this book and what the Holy Spirit has been teaching me about himself apart from the book through the Bible.  I will write more on this once I finish reading the book and the Spirit helps me digest the reality of himself into my daily life.

This post is going to be about something that came to mind while reading this book last night.  Somewhere around the third chapter, or so, he starts talking through the coming of the Spirit in the book of Acts.  Chan asks you to imagine what it must have been like for the disciples before and when this happened.  He walks you through what they just experienced.  They just lived the past three years of their lives with Jesus, a man they watched do miracles and teach the truths of God like know one else had.  They went through the terror of this man’s arrest and death.  They saw his empty tomb.  They were visited by him and taught by him after his resurrection.  They saw and felt the scars and ate dinners with the risen teacher.  Then they watched him ascend into Heaven with the promise that something/someone better is going to come because he is leaving.  Chan then goes through the coming of the Spirit as they sat in a room together in Jerusalem.

I sat there trying to envision this.  I have a pretty good imagination.  I am a creative guy.  But I had trouble getting there in my mind.  I tried to think about what this would be like.  What it would be like for a friend, small group leader, or even pastor I know to die, come back, and then ascend (let alone promise that this was better because of who/what would come to replace him).  I mean to be visited by a guy that you just went to the funeral for.  To hang out with him, eat with him, and share with him what it was like to lose him.  To be taught by him and then literally watch him rise up into the sky.  Then to trust him and go wait in a room for “something better.”  I just can’t get my mind to fathom this.

Please know that I am in no way doubting this reality.  I definitely believe this is true and happened.  I just can’t get to a place that I can understand what it would be like for this to be happening with me present.  It boggles my mind!

No disrespect to the friends, family, and fans of Steve Jobs, but think about this.  Say you worked with him/for him and are still at Apple.  You are in mourning for his passing.  One day next week, all the employees are gathered together for what you think is a memorial, and he shows up there very much alive.  He spends a couple of weeks going from group to group of Apple-ites spending time with them.  Then everyone is gathered again, he talks to the Apple company as a whole one last time.  He then says someone better is coming because he is leaving and then just lifts up into the air and vanishes.

I can’t even try to think about this happening in reality, and I have some understanding of what it was like for Steve Jobs to be here “in the flesh.”  And so it is even harder for me to think about this with Jesus.  I know he is real, but I have no concept of what it is like for him to have been walking the planet.  I know he did, but I just can’t imagine what that was like.  So it is even harder for me to think about what it was like to watch him ascend and then trust him and wait for the something better (the Holy Spirit).

Like I said, I am just having trouble imagining this.  The great part is that I don’t have to.  It was real.  It is real.  And one day I will see and get to know Jesus “in the flesh.”  I can’t wait for that day!  And I know it was better for him to leave, because I do have the Spirit living within me.  I have the Spirit of Jesus in my life and his presence proves the reality that I can not comprehend on my own!  Hallelujah, what a Savior!

What do you think about this?  Can you imagine what it was like to be there?  What do you think it felt like to trust that there was something better coming?

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Something Better Than 5 Hour Energy

I am tired. Very tired. So tired that I can’t believe my eyes are still open.

Last night I stayed up late working on a video for my students (I am a middle school teacher). Did I have to do this? No and yes. I did not have to make this video. However, I felt like it was something that my students needed to help them understand what I am teaching, and therefore I needed to do this.

I am a perfectionist, of sorts, when I do projects like this. This fact, coupled with a slow computer that kept crashing the editing, kept me up to WAY past my bedtime. I was able to talk LA into getting ready first, and this let me get a whopping 4 hours of sleep (I need at least six to feel functional and 7-8 to feel rested). So, like I said, I am tired.

Usually, given these type of circumstances, I would turn to the help of an energy shot like 5 Hour Energy, or the like. For those that are skeptical, they do work. You have non-jittery energy for about five hours with no crash at the end. When it is over, you feel tired like when you started, but no crash. At least this is the experience for me. I do wonder about the side effects. This stuff is too good to be true. I keep waiting for a study to link it to something bad. That is why I try to use it sparingly.

Today I did not have time to buy any. So I have spent the day on the rest that comes from four hours of sleep. And you know what? To quote REM (rest in peace…they announced their break-up today), “I feel fine.” Though, I did barely get through our faculty meeting after school.

As we were driving to get NB from daycare, my wife and I were talking about this. The thought came to me that the times that I stay up late or use my energy in serving others, somehow I have just enough energy for the next day though I shouldn’t. I thought of several other times when I had the same experience.

The Spirit started to speak to me with the idea that this is the way it is supposed to be. We are supposed to pour ourselves out in service of others, doing what we know is right, and then rely on God through the Spirit to give us strength to keep going. We are supposed to offer ourselves up for the cause of others and wear oursleves out for them. This, in turn, should turn us to the Spirit in trust that he will give us the energy that we need for our daily lives.

As I have been reading through the Bible, it has become very clear that one of God’s main “deals” is service to others and justice for others. Doing what is right and fair for the sake of others. It is talked about constantly in both the Old and New Testaments, and it is exemplified in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Becuase Christ died, was raised, and went to live at the right hand of God the Father, the Spirit was poured out on us. As we pour our lives out for others, the Spirit sustains us. He fills us back up. Once we our full, we can pour ourselves out again and start the cycle over.

Paul said it best in Philippians 2, in verses 14-18.  He was talking about how there should be joy in the fact that we are wearing ourselves out in service to others. We shouldn’t complain about it. There is joy in this that comes from the Spirit (I added this part, but it where we get our joy). He said that even though he could die, he doesn’t think it is in vain because it was in the service to others (the Philippians and other churches like theirs). The “drink offering” is a referance to the Old Testament laws that governed Temple worship. Wine was poured out as a offering of worship to God. And this is what we do now. We pour ourselves out as a drink offering…we pour our lives out in service to others.

Being refilled by the Spirit, getting my strength and energy today from him, is WAY better than a 5 Hour Energy! I am tired, but I feel great. I will get some sleep tonight, and then pour myself out again from my students and coworkers tomorrow! I can’t wait!

What about you?  Do you know what I am talking about when I talk about getting strength and energy from the Spirit?  Do you pour yourself out for others?  How?  Do you feel energized by this because you know you are pouring yourself out in worship of Jesus, who poured himself out for us?

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Me and Steven Curtis Chapman: The Sequel

About three and a half weeks ago, I wrote about an experience in which God spoke to me about my attitude through the new Steven Curtis Chapman song, Everything You Do.  If you haven’t read that one yet, you need to or this one won’t make as much sense.  Me and Steven Curtis Chapman.

Christian radio has a tendency to overplay hit songs.  SCC’s (Steven Curtis Chapman) new song is poppy and fun, and it has a lot of JPMs (Jesus Per Minute…mentions of God or Jesus).  It should be getting a lot of play.  I have searched the Christian radio dial for it since that day I heard it, and to no avail.  I eventually stopped looking…yesterday.  So, of course, on the drive back from school the song comes on the radio.  This time God used the song to give me a new message.  Well, the same message but a new context.

Unlike last time that I heard the song, today was an awesome day.  It was a great day of teaching.  I had fun.  The students learned what I needed them to learn.  I had two great observations by assistant principals.  I was even picked for teacher of the week by one of the assistant principals (something our school does).  On top of that, I did not have to go pick LA up, and I was able to come straight home to rest a bit before needing to go get NB.  Oh, and I had a reprieve from my allergy attacks today.  All in all, a really good day.

As I drove, happy to hear the song again and singing along when I could remember words (I have heard it online since the first time), I really wasn’t trying to find a message from God.  I got one anyway.

The chorus came on, “Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you…”  The thought came to me that I am good at knowing I need help to do this when I am having a “bad day.”  When my attitude is rotten I know that my thoughts are on me and that I need to change that.  But what about good days?  Where is my focus?  What is my attitude?  Am I doing what I am doing for the “glory of the One who made” me?  Or am I celebrating a triumph of self?

I think I felt as nailed by the song this time as my I-hate-driving day.   It is quite possible that I am more selfish and self-seeking on good days than bad (okay, not possible, but this is the actual reality).  When life is “coming up Joe,” I don’t always think about God’s glory…I think more about Joe’s glory.  Even when I do thank God for the day and know it is from him, I think the motivation still has some selfishness tied up in it.

I think this is evidence, for me, of what Paul meant when he quoted Isaiah (I think) in Romans when he said that “our righteousness is filthy rags” before God.  Even when we are doing right, it is not totally about God.  When things are going good in our lives, we are serving others, we are making right choices there is still selfishness and pride attached to it.  We still need the work of the Holy Spirit to help us truly give the glory only to God.

This did not destroy my “good day,” but it did help focus it.  It made me realize what I already know, I need Jesus.  I am unable to do this without his sacrafice and resurrection.  I can’t really give him glory outside of the purifying work of the Spirit.  And I am glad for this.  Becuase if I could do it on my own, I could take some of the glory.  I don’t want that ability.  That was the sin that got Satan kicked out of Heaven (I realize some people may have never heard Satan’s “back story”…maybe I will post on that some time).

Here is the video of the song, by the way.

What about you?  What do you think about this?  I have been pretty honest about my falling short in giving God glory.  Where do you fall short?  Do you notice it more on “good days” or “bad days?”  What is a time that you noticed this and what did God teach you through it?

Side Lesson: I had to stop writing this to go pick up NB yesterday and did not get to start back up until this morning.  In the meantime, God pointed something out to me about why I heard the song yesterday and why he gave me these thoughts specifically yesterday.  I posted in the morning asking for people to give me some feedback on my blog.  God spoke to my heart and told me that he gave me the song and message as a comment on that post.  He wants me to keep writing.  And to that I say, “Yes sir.”

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RT@God: I don’t tweet. #readthebook

Alright.  This one might get some people riled up a bit.  It hasn’t been my “blog style” to jump on a soapbox, but this time I need to.  A lot of this has been on my heart and mind for a long time.  It started in my “older brother days” (for an explanation of what I mean by that, check out my post, My Time Travel Testimony), but it has gotten stronger as I have grown as a Christian…even more now that I am in the process of reading the Bible all the way through.

How do I say this nicely?  I don’t know if there is a way to do that.  Before I just jump in, please know that I know I have three fingers pointing back at me when I point this out…but, to quote Derek Webb, I have already “turned over tables in my own living room.”  I am dealing with this with myself, and I want to get it out there for others to think about to.  With all of that now said, here we go.

As a Christian “culture” it is time to grow up.  We really need to mature.  We need to get past the “milk of God” and really start to “eat like a man.”  I mean, it is time to be done with watered down versions of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Bible.  I know that most people probably go to great churches where they are fed well in the truth and knowlege of God…but what are we all doing outside of that?

Of the four things I mentioned as watered down, I want to focus on the Bible.   The Bible is the cornerstone of the Christian faith.  Through the Holy Spirit, it is the source of our knowledge of God.  It is one of the three pillars that the Spirit uses to grow and disciple us in our faith (the other two being the Spirit speaking to our hearts and speaking to us through other people–i.e. the Church).  Most of us have the chruch and even the personal side of the Spirit down, but are we truly seeking God through the Bible?

I am not talking about a devotional with scripture at the end.  I am not talking about memory verses (though I am not knocking those).  I am not even talking about Christian music that is scripturally-based.  I am talking about the pure, unadulterated Word of God.

God does not really come in Tweet-sized pieces.  I am not downgrading Twitter.  I am just saying that we treat God like he is using Twitter in our approach to the Bible oftentimes in our lives.  We want the little pieces.  Little shots.  But God works as a whole.  He is not Twitter, he is more like a thousand page novel (in comparison).

Through my life I have met a lot of people who are great at quoting verses.  I have heard great sermons based on small pieces of Scripture.  I have read awe-inspiring stories based on clips from the Bible.  But very rarely have I been challenged to read the Bible from cover to cover and learn who my God really is.

When I was in college the first time (long story), I was a Christian Studies major.  I was in mostly religious classes.  The whole time I was there (all four years), I was only pushed to read the Bible through by one person.  Was it my Bible professors?  No.  My fellow pre-seminary religion majors?  Nope.  My Christian friends or the Baptist Student Union?  No and no.  It was my professor from the English classes I took.  Dr. Sepko.  She put out the challenge to all of the Christian Studies majors in a class I took of hers to read the Bible all the way through.  No one in the class had.

Over the years I have tried from time to time to do this.  I have always fallen short.  My motivation was that I need to read it through to say that I have.  That did not help me get through Leviticus and the Kings.  I would always get bored there and eventually give up.  I tried One Year Bibles, and the same thing happened.  It wasn’t until I went through the transformation and awakening early this year (see My Time Travel Testimony) and after reading Radical that I really WANTED to read through the Bible because I wanted to be closer to God.  I wrote my about this in my post called “What’s in a Name? Jesus, Jesus, bo Bes…

My point is this, when we are just reading parts and pieces of the Bible, we are missing the fullness of who he is.  I have been completely amazed by how susinct the Bible actually is.  I will read something in the Old Testament that will tie directly into what I read next in the New Testament.  It is so cool.  There are themes that start coming out that make God’s character so apparent.  You even start to see, through the Old Testament, that Jesus was the plan since the beginning.  God is big.  God is huge.  And he does not fit into twitter-type sound bites.

Let me challenge you like Dr. Sepko challenged me (and later David Platt did through Radical).  Commit to reading the Bible through.  You don’t have to do it in a year.  Just commit to starting and finishing.  It will change you.  I mean really change your entire being and relationship to God.  Pray about doing this.

Let me give you a few pieces of advice that I learned the hard way.

  • Find a translation that is solid but very readable for you.  I am a big fan of the New Living Translation.  It gets high marks as a translation and is very, very easy to read.
  • Get a One Year Bible.  These Bibles break it down into an easy program to follow with tips on how you can read it or take longer than a year to read it.
  • Pray!  Pray through it as you read.  The Holy Spirit wrote the Bible, he WILL help you understand it.  I promise.  You just have to trust him.
  • Read the book, How to Read the Bible for All It’s Worth.  This was a game changer for me in how to read the Bible for understanding.
  • When you have questions about something you read, ask somebody.  Also, the internet has been a great tool for me as I read.  There is a lot of information out there that will help things make more sense.
  • Last, if you are willing to put your money where your mouth is to take this sersiously, get an ereader.  Reading the Bible on the ereader has helped me so much.  Everything is in one column like a regular book.  The font is as big as you want it, and it is easy to read and get immersed in what you are reading.

Let me know if you want to take this challenge.  I would love to pray for you in this.

What do you think?  Is this a challenge you would like to take on?  Have you already done this?  How has it affected your life?

Please think about becoming an email subscriber so you can stay updated!  It is free and it is awesome.  🙂

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Weed Known This for a Lawn Time

I hate mowing my lawn.  I seriously do.

“Uh, Mr. OneCupofJoe, no one likes mowing the lawn.”

No, you just don’t understand.  I don’t hate mowing, I just hate mowing MY lawn.  I have a little less than half an acre, which isn’t too bad to mow.  However, my half an acre is almost completely a hill…and not just a nice hill with a steady incline/decline.  This is a mean, steep hill, and I am beginning to think it doesn’t like me very much.  This is why I hate mowing my yard.  Oh, and by the way, the front yard is almost as hard to mow as the back.  For these reasons, I put off mowing as long as I can…and I pushed it off even longer because of the heat.

The other day I was mowing part of the yard (I mow it in phases when I do mow).  Even though the lawn needed mowing, when I went over the actual grass I was barely shaving it.  It had hardly grown at all since the last mowing.  What I needed to mow was the weeds not the grass…which made me even more irritated.

It has been so dry and hot here, that I started to think that weeds grow better when it is dry because there is less competition from the grass that isn’t growing.  God spoke to me through this, but before I talk about that let me share what I learned when I looked for the reason weeds grow faster and “better” than grass.

What most of us call weeds are plants with a ruderal growth strategy.  What this means is that the focus on growth is using up all of the resources it can get for growth and reproduction, long term sustainability…meaning shallow roots and short lifespan.  Unlike grass which has deeper roots but takes longer to grow and reproduce (and needs a lot of water and sun to do so).  So weeds thrive when grass can’t, and this allows them to thrive more because the grass is not competing as much for the resources.

This lined up COMPLETELY with what God taught me as I mowed my weeds.  The weeds outgrowing grass is just like us in relationship to God and sin.  When we are not plugged into our source of light and water (the Holy Spirit…our Light and Living Water), then what we want to be growing in us won’t be.  Sin does not need much “water” or “light” to grow.  Sin is the weeds that grow in our heart and mind.  When I am not growing in my walk with the Spirit, what grows in me is selfishness, laziness, pride, and lack of trust.  All of these “weeds” reproduce as a number of more specific sins (like losing my temper, not being kind to LA, not putting other people’s needs before me).  The root cause of these sins is me not being in tune with the Spirit (and through him, the Father and Jesus).  The “good plants” are not growing in me, and space is made for the “weeds” to sprout up.

God being God lined up the perfect parallel to this as I read through my One Year Bible this morning.  In Galatians 5, Paul was wrapping up talking about the difference between living under the influence of the law and living under the influence of the Spirit.  Towards the end of the chapter is a section I am sure you are familar with, but very applicable to what God taught me about the weeds.

Galatians 5:19-23

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

I have been through many times in my life when I have seen less of the “good plants” of the Spirit and more of the “weeds” from my sinful nature.  I think I am slowly turning the corner on that and starting to see a desire for what only comes from the Spirit and a closeness to him.  I am getting tired of mowing the “weeds” in my life.  I am ready for the Spirit’s “grass” to start choking out those “weeds.”

What about you?  Are you seeing more “weeds” or “grass” in your life?  Are you getting as tired as I am of mowing those “weeds?”  What needs to change for you in your life and relationship to the Spirit?

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